Wednesday, February 16, 2005

bottoms and other works of art

My mom called me and asked me to check out someone’s ass. Seriously. Well, kind of, anyway. I got this cryptic message from her, which is unusual in and of itself since my parents treat calling my cell phone as a last resort for contacting me. I think they’d rather send smoke signals or carrier pigeons or something given how rare it is for them to call. Anyway, my mom told me she had an art question for my friends and me. Puzzling. I called her back asap, my curiosity piqued. (By the by, my parents are retired and take classes at the local community college to keep themselves entertained.) Turns out she has been assigned by her art history teacher to find and study a picture of the rear end view of Donatello’s statue of David (the one where he’s a young boy wearing a floppy hat and sword). Unable to locate David’s hiney in any of her textbooks, my mom turned to the web. In her research, she stumbled across a website that she said “looked promising,” but seemed to imply some sort of homoeroticism, whereby she was too intimidated to enter the site for fear of unwittingly downloading scads of gay porn. My mother discussing the prospect of downloading gay porn with me is not something I ever anticipated hearing. Funny, nonetheless. She asked me if I had ever seen David’s ass in print anywhere, or if any of my friends (some of whom were Art History majors and minors in college) might have a book with his rear view in it. Fortunately (tho’ after I had already emailed my friend regarding the ass shot), I was able to find an image of David’s butt on an entirely clean website. Disaster averted, I have found his ass.

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