Raving Loon: May 2008

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

another note to private

(Because this is cheaper than therapy.)

I don't know what to do with the fact that you emailed me. I responded, but in an intentionally dull, disinterested way. In a way meant to hide the fact that every one of my brain cells were pinging wildly around in my head. And that my heart was racing and that I wanted to vomit a little from all the nerves. Four months of blowing me off and now you decide to get in touch with a little howdy do?? If the phrase WTF was ever meant for something, it's this. WTF. Where have you been? What are you doing? Why are you getting in touch now? Why not four months ago when I was ready to lay it all out. Perhaps that's the biggest question. Why *are* you getting in touch? What are your intentions? Do you even think about stuff like that? Was it just a fleeting moment of nostalgia? The ice cream and old pictures get you thinking, "Oh yeah...her."? I cried (briefly) last night just from the clouds in my head. It's the first time I've done that in four months. WTF. You've got me thinking, but I don't know what to do with it.

Haiku Wednesday

Flying out tonight,

Lifting roots to resettle,

Anxious, exited.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny

My horoscope this week:

"I'm issuing a too-much-of-a-good-thing warning. Soaking up too much pleasure could dilute the value of your bliss. Expressing too much personal power could scare away valuable allies who are competent but not entirely confident. Pushing too hard on behalf of your creative pragmatism could subtly undermine the labor of love you've worked so hard on. Therefore, Capricorn, please accept my invitation to enjoy a period of rest and assimilation. You can return later for another round of pure intensity."

Eerie, on all counts. Everything is intense these days.

a note to private

Couldn't decide whether or not to call you on your birthday. Apparently, not calling got your attention more than calling would have. Let's just say, my tidy little dim sum lunch has been forgotten. That was not the email I was expecting to see when I came in. Call me floored. Now what to do with all this shu mai?