Raving Loon

Things that make you go "Hmmm...."

2009-10-13T11:02:00.001-07:00

Sleeping with your best guy friend - good idea or bad idea?? Hmmm....
Too late. Hope it's the former.

Weekly Horoscope

2009-05-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

Love Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology...

Mine this week: "Did you hear about the older Korean woman who has failed her driving test 800 times? Or the American man who has filled out job applications at 25 Pizza Huts in 20 cities without being hired? Or the British artist who has completed over 5,000 paintings even though no gallery has ever shown his work? There is something about you that resembles those persistently frustrated people -- or at least has resembled them up until now. Soon, I predict, the dogged efforts you've made will finally pay off in at least a modest success, and perhaps even more if you'll make an effort to free your mind of its backlog of sad images."

Freed

2009-04-10T09:36:00.001-07:00

You know what's an amazingly freeing feeling? Finally getting around to deleting all the old shitty songs that someone with bad musical tastes put on your iTunes. Phew! No more having to skip songs...they're gone! Only room for good things!

You don't get it...

2009-03-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

You don't seem to get it...I don't want to be your "friend". I don't want to be lied to, or patronized. My real friends don't do that to me. I don't want to talk to you; I know you're only doing it out of guilt. On some level you realize you fucked up. I don't want to hear from you until you realize it on every level. Save me the headache, the anxiety, the distraction. Save yourself the empty attempts. Save her the insecurity of a boyfriend who's chasing guilt. Just save it.

You still don't get it. I don't want to be your "friend". I don't want to hear from you unless you're on my doorstep with a ring and an apology. You fucked up.

Almost forgot it's Wednesday!

2009-03-11T13:06:00.001-07:00

You know what that means....haiku time!

Night out with the boys,
My favorite group to be just
My regular self.

If life were a musical...

2009-03-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

This is what I imagine he sings:

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

(Snow Patrol's "You could be happy")

Interesting thought found on the interwebs...

2009-03-07T20:56:00.001-08:00

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully 'round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, inpenetrable, irredeemable." --C.S. Lewis

New Year's Horoscope

2009-01-05T12:11:00.001-08:00

I'm a cusp baby, straddling Capricorn and Aquarius, so I'm not sure which horoscope to follow. Fortunately, both sound pretty exciting this year:

CAPRICORN You begin the year with Mars, the kick-butt, take-names planet, in your sign. Resolutions carry cosmic power. Expect significant changes in 2009. An alliance (personal or professional) has recently emerged. (Or, if it hasn't, it soon will). In other words, if you're not already involved in a partnership, here comes capital "L" life to shake you up. Circle Jan. 10 on your calendar -- the night you discover why you've become a new and different person. Look forward to the second act -- a very dramatic one -- on July 7.

AQUARIUS Jupiter, CEO of expansion, is establishing residence in your sign for a year-long stay. Jolly Jupe supplies enthusiasm, expansiveness and luck to your life. He's a kind of cosmic Santa Claus who pushes you to learn new things, meet new people, get involved and go boldly where you've never gone before. You're supposed to be learning and growing through new experience. So expect the year ahead to be among the most exciting of your entire life. The new moon, in your sign, Jan. 25, offers one of the greatest decision making opportunities in your entire life. Then follows a power trip Feb. 4-March 13. You could conquer the world! Follow your bliss Aug. 5. Finally, expect to be a different person one year from now.

I'm getting my calendar out right now!

Oops...oh well, I'll blame it on school

2008-12-18T22:10:00.001-08:00

I missed Haiku Wednesday yesterday...oops! But, I have a good excuse -- it was my last official day of the semester! Woohoo! (Nevermind the fact that I actually finished my last presentation the day before and just spent Wednesday hanging out with my classmates and professors drinking beers.)

There's so much excitement now, too. It's almost Christmas (when did that happen?), there's a giant snowstorm about to hit, and I get to go home in only a few more days! Before that happens, though, I get to go out with my girls for one last outing before we all go our separate ways for break. And, I'm have two hot dates coming up. One is between my ass and a stadium seat to finally see the new Bond flick (purrrrrr....also, yay to having time to go to the movies!! I may even go to a matinee...double yay!). The second is with the boy I went out with last week...just googled his name (so informative) and apparently he's a genius in just about everything. Wow....just wow. Smart is hot. Anyway, here's a belated haiku:

Winter wonderland,
Best when spent under covers,
Sleeping in all day.

Haiku Wednesday

2008-12-10T11:13:00.000-08:00

Lost track of the days
In the midst of finals and
Such, but here I am!

Final exam and
A first date all in one day.
No rest for weary.

A first date alert!
All hands on deck, better get
this girl fixed up quick!

Horoscope

2008-12-05T17:16:00.001-08:00

I love Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology horoscopes, partly because they're quirky and partly because they tend to make me think (which is something we can all stop to do more often). Here is my horoscope for this week:

From 1987 to 2006, Alan Greenspan was Chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve and a major force in shaping the world's most powerful economy. When the recent troubles hit, Congress called on him to testify. With shocking humility, he confessed that there had been a flaw in his model of reality. All those years he'd believed that "free, competitive markets are by far the unrivaled way to organize economies." Now he saw he was wrong. While I'm sorry for the collective pain his mistaken ideas have unleashed, I'm elated for him personally: How many 82-year-old men are open to the possibility that their philosophy of life needs adjustment? For that matter, how many people of any age are receptive to changing their ideas about how the world works? I invite you to take your inspiration from Greenspan, Capricorn. Be curious about how your own major theories might need revision. Doing this heroic deed will energize you with good karma and fresh mojo.

Time to think about my own major theories...

Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T09:41:00.001-08:00

I can't let Thanksgiving weekend wrap up without a post about what I'm
thankful for. Here's a short list of some of the things that make my
life complete.

I'm thankful for:
friends, family, my health, and all those things that everyone always
says when they go around the table
black tea lattes
moisturizer
fleece blankets
living in the first world
cabs
puppies
premium vodka
hash browns
weekends
the internet
naps
dark chocolate covered anything
lint rollers
remote controls
christmas lights
color
boutiques
grilled onions on burgers
book stores
laughter
bridges
sunsets
lilacs, peonies, and tuberoses
baby feet
board games
vintage
celebratory pitchers
down anything
cheap plane tickets
friends, family, my health, and all those things that everyone always
says when they go around the table and really truly mean

The Gambler

2008-11-23T18:07:00.001-08:00

Been trying to figure you out for the last six years. Think it's time
for me to stop? Kenny Rogers was right, but how do you know which
choice to make?

Thoughts

2008-10-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

Dear You,

Happy shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Today marks the 6th anniversary of what was. And now...what is? I am less able to answer that question than I was a year ago, when we were still freshly broken up.

I believe you've recently read what was left for you in your storage box, which puts you at somewhat of an advantage, since I no longer remember the exact words or sentiments. If memory serves, both letters were along the lines of "I love you...Why don't you love me the same? WTF?". But, that is an indirect recollection.

Is it wrong that I think those questions are less answered now than they were when I wrote them?

For those who are not in the loop, I loved him. With every fiber of my being. So much so that all I saw in my future was him. There was other stuff, of course, but he was the only defined thing that I saw and knew I wanted. And I still do. Though, I am admittedly confused about how much is about him and how much is about "us" and my recollection of what "we" were. How do you let go of your future? And should you?

I believe I wrote that I looked forward to the day when I stopped caring. But, that hasn't happened yet. Will it ever? Those are the thoughts that haunt me. What if I never stop caring? What if I always regret walking away?

A classmate of mine recently described (wistfully) waiting for her boyfriend to propose. How could I crush her dreams with my own reality? I kept my mouth shut. She's given 6 years. Maybe she's better than me, with my 4 and a half. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you...perhaps I should have given that without any stipulations of legal bonds or rings. Who will ever know? Was your indecision right? Was my insistence wrong?

I didn't ask for much. Not a ring, not a date. Just a promise to love me. And all you could say was "I don't know." The women who'd been in similar, even longer situations, marveled and applauded my "strength" in walking away. I'm not sure now if it was strength or weakness.

I love you. How much is loving you and how much is loving what we were...I don't know. I wish there were some way to right everything, to know which path was the right one. To receive some sign. But, there is only life, lived every day, moving in some direction away (?) from who we were together and who we could have been. Which makes me so sad, because we were always so happy. And despite all the confusion and indecision, I know that I will always love you, even when I shouldn't.

With love,
Me

Haikus

2008-10-23T06:49:00.001-07:00

Too busy to haiku lately, but lots going through my head. Some thoughts aren't even in metered form! Watch out...real blog posting coming soon.

Wednesday Haiku

2008-10-08T12:48:00.001-07:00

I am not your friend,

Dear Senator John McCain,

Please don't forget that.

It's Wednesday....and I'm writing a Haiku!

2008-10-01T17:51:00.001-07:00

If no one reads this,
Did it happen? Did I speak?
Do you still read me?

Okay...that was boring, here's another:

What is this weather?
Yellow leaves, cold nights, puddles.
So this is Autumn.

Wednesday Haiku

2008-09-24T07:21:00.001-07:00

It's Wednesday today
And I'm actually here,
Writing about it.

So busy always,
Never stopping, even when
It comes time to play.

With all on my mind,
You still take hold there and keep
Coming back to me.

A craigslist haiku

2008-08-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

I bought your TV,
But it was you I wanted
To take home with me.

Because I'll be too busy to post tomorrow and it's weighing on my brain

2008-08-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

P.S., do you know?
I love you still. Time heals,
But does not erase.

A premature Wednesday haiku

2008-08-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

Back from vacation,
New city, new life, new world,
But still the same me.

It's baaaack....

2008-08-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yay for season 4! These are the real summer games!

Memory and Time

2008-08-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

I don't remember when I stopped loving him, but I do remember when I started. I don't remember why I couldn't find the time to stay in touch, but I remember when I waited breathlessly for his phone calls. I don't remember what my last words to him were, but I do remember what it felt like to hear his voice jump and reach over those miles upon miles of telephone lines. I don't recall why I wanted out, or what finally prompted that decision, or how much I cried about that specifically, but I remember how much he hurt. I do remember that. Remember his broken-hearted look six months later and again, still broken-hearted, three years later. I remember running into him at the bar, surprised that he'd come into town without telling me; stumbled upon him, me in a cowboy hat and rhinestone necklace and big, dark sunglasses, laugh caught halfway down my throat as I came into the room and him, the usual black raincoat and conservative clothes, hair cropped close, face stricken as if he'd seen a ghost. I do remember that.

Smell and memory

2008-08-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

I know it was baby lotion, but for some reason I was expecting vanilla, so it was vanilla I had a reaction to. It was a soft, sweet smell, nonetheless. I am 18, almost 19 in a few days, and I am standing by myself in my best friend's bedroom. I'm holding the itchy wool v-neck sweater that I lent her a few months back, clutching it in my left hand as I stand at her bookshelf and gently finger the photos and trinkets there with my right hand. The house is silent. I smell her vanilla perfume. I inhale deeply; it is a smell I will remember for the rest of my life, with which I will associate all sweet, faintly perfumed smells. I will be struck by the memory it conjures at inconvenient times in inappropriate locations. I will put it on myself to savor the familiarity, yet fight back tears when smelling it on others. This heady, wholesome, youthful smell will always stay heady, wholesome, and youthful in my mind, just as my dear friend will always stay 17.

Wednesday Work Haiku

2008-07-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

Didn't think I could

Be more stressed than I was, but

You have pulled it off.

Today's Horoscope

2008-07-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone has to reinvent themselves and now it’s your turn. Embrace the spirit of adventure.

Chronicle Movie Review

2008-06-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Love this quote from Mick LaSalle's review of Wanted today: "There's a 5-ton elephant in the room and everybody thinks it's a desk lamp."

My horoscope

2008-06-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

Today's is apt: You have all these things you need to get to and just thinking about them gives you a headache. Pick two that are important and shelve the rest.

Wednesday Haiku

2008-06-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

To pack or party?

That is the question these days,

Feel stressed to do both.

More shopping

2008-06-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

Another cool website: mollaspace.com. Love the egg salt & pepper shakers.

Wednesday Haiku

2008-06-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

Stomach is hurting;

Is it the virus or just nerves?

Could go either way.

To the one whom I cast aside in favor of another

2008-06-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

You who sit there,
lunching with friends on the hard concrete steps,
I see you out of the corner of my eye
and I'm reminded of a time

long past, but quickly refreshed.
Did you know?
He and and I were in love,
maybe unconsciously then, but outwardly
and abundantly later.

You had hurt in your eyes
and I, admittedly, was blind in my approach.
But, it was worth it, don't you think?
You have her and I have memories.

I think I catch your glimpse as I pass,
could be mistaken,
might not even be you,
but I flutter inwardly, regardless, at the thought.

-October 7, 2001

More mental decorating...

2008-06-12T15:29:00.001-07:00

Much of my down time lately is spent daydreaming about how to decorate my new apartment without breaking the bank. On my list of covets: the George Nelson Bench (or a cheaper ripoff version), this cabinet, and this desk (also here). I don't think they really go together, but when has that ever stopped me?

Forwarded from a Friend

2008-06-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs

who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
The End

Wednesday Haiku

2008-06-11T12:12:00.000-07:00

Without internet

Yesterday, drove me crazy.

So glad it's back now.

Home decorating

2008-06-09T12:02:00.001-07:00

Furnishing an apartment is expensive, especially when I'm in love with things like this lamp and this mirror. And I'm moving in with zero furniture or housewares. Fun times shopping, but definitely not cheap!

Also, I'm obsessed with wood, faux bois style, and natural materials right now. Maybe it's because of the wood decorating feature in the latest issue of Martha Stewart Living, but I'm loving it.

More shops

2008-06-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

Almost forgot these!

www.curiosityshoppeonline.com - love the sea urchin boxes and the sunprint kit

www.3rliving.com - I'm all about the wood plates - and all of their products are eco-friendly!

Shopping Mall

2008-06-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

Over the last few months, I've accumulated a short list of online boutiques that sell the cutest stuff. So, in the interest of generosity and keeping these wonderful e-tailers open, I thought I'd share the links.

www.shopmodi.com (love the Mr. P tape dispenser!)

http://rarebirdfinds.typepad.com/rare_bird_finds/ - they profile other online shops and hunt out the best stuff

www.kikkerlandshop.com/ (I'm all about the little campfire votive holder)

www.etsy.com - this is the motherlode for all sorts of handmade goodies by individual sellers

http://threepotatofourshop.com (the birds and nests dessert plates are calling my name)

www.blueribbongeneralstore.net - I love 5 and dimes. Seriously, I could spend days in a well appointed Ace Hardware. So, of course I love this stuff!

www.rightbrainterrain.com (I'm so getting the peace poster)

And, yes, this is how I spend my lunch hours - window shopping through my computer screen. :)

Wednesday Haiku

2008-06-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

Time stands for no man.

How is it June already?

August before long.

another note to private

2008-05-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

(Because this is cheaper than therapy.)

I don't know what to do with the fact that you emailed me. I responded, but in an intentionally dull, disinterested way. In a way meant to hide the fact that every one of my brain cells were pinging wildly around in my head. And that my heart was racing and that I wanted to vomit a little from all the nerves. Four months of blowing me off and now you decide to get in touch with a little howdy do?? If the phrase WTF was ever meant for something, it's this. WTF. Where have you been? What are you doing? Why are you getting in touch now? Why not four months ago when I was ready to lay it all out. Perhaps that's the biggest question. Why *are* you getting in touch? What are your intentions? Do you even think about stuff like that? Was it just a fleeting moment of nostalgia? The ice cream and old pictures get you thinking, "Oh yeah...her."? I cried (briefly) last night just from the clouds in my head. It's the first time I've done that in four months. WTF. You've got me thinking, but I don't know what to do with it.

Haiku Wednesday

2008-05-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

Flying out tonight,

Lifting roots to resettle,

Anxious, exited.

Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny

2008-05-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

My horoscope this week:

"I'm issuing a too-much-of-a-good-thing warning. Soaking up too much pleasure could dilute the value of your bliss. Expressing too much personal power could scare away valuable allies who are competent but not entirely confident. Pushing too hard on behalf of your creative pragmatism could subtly undermine the labor of love you've worked so hard on. Therefore, Capricorn, please accept my invitation to enjoy a period of rest and assimilation. You can return later for another round of pure intensity."

Eerie, on all counts. Everything is intense these days.

a note to private

2008-05-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

Couldn't decide whether or not to call you on your birthday. Apparently, not calling got your attention more than calling would have. Let's just say, my tidy little dim sum lunch has been forgotten. That was not the email I was expecting to see when I came in. Call me floored. Now what to do with all this shu mai?

revolving closet

2008-05-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

Finally fitting back into my skinny jeans....which, incidentally, used to be my fat jeans. In other words, my closet is a revolving door.

Haiku Wednesday

2008-05-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Already homesick,

And haven't even left yet.

Better soak it up.

Creative minds...

2008-05-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

http://fishki.net/comment.php?id=32304&loc=interstitialskip

I love it!

An early haiku

2008-05-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

Damn birthday pop-ups

Keep reminding me of you

And your existence.

Makes me proud to be a Californian...

2008-05-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/05/15/BAGAVNC5K.DTL

A Wednesday Admissions Haiku

2008-05-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

Rejected, but not

Dejected. Can't say I care

Much since I'm in.

New favorite website

2008-05-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

I love it. www.colorwars2008.com

Haiku Wednesday - a Bonanza!

2008-05-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Co-worker Haiku

This is just to say

Your "umm"s are driving me nuts.

Umm, can you stop now?

Past Haiku

Can't I forget you?

Give my heart and mind some peace?

Apparently not.

Vacation Haiku

White sand beaches call,

As they have for years. This time,

I am answering.

wednesday haiku

2008-04-30T10:03:00.001-07:00

Seems you learned a lot,

Like how to ditch your old friends.

Congratulations.

Go Play!

2008-04-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

Help feed doggies and kitties in need: www.savepups.com.

2 Wednesday Haikus

2008-04-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

Back from an "illness"

Called being in Las Vegas,

Partying it up.

"Sorry for the mess."

"Yes, why is it so?" he asked.

"Because I'm messy."

A take me out to the ballpark wednesday haiku

2008-04-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Sunburned from slacking.

Beers, fries at the game; good thing

I was with the boss.

A tribute haiku

2008-04-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

There I was: locked out,

Cold and half naked. You came

And opened me up.

A Hangover Haiku

2008-04-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

Eating a gut bomb

Of greasy, cheesy goodness.

Nothing cures better.

a bonus Thursday haiku

2008-04-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

Feeling the wine flights

Trying to take flight again

Out of my stomach.

wednesday haiku

2008-04-09T11:30:00.001-07:00

The Olympic torch
Better not fuck up my plans
For tonight's non-date.

Brilliant

2008-04-03T13:32:00.000-07:00

http://www.exboyfriendjewelry.com/

Wednesday Haiku

2008-04-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

Didn't break my hand,

Though I did sprain my ankle.

How's that for graceful?

thoughts

2008-03-31T15:21:00.000-07:00

Letting relationships develop organically is annoying. Whatever happened to the good old way of getting drunk and hooking up and letting everything sort itself out in the morning?

Pardon the interruption, but...

2008-03-26T15:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, please! http://defamer.com/372049/ac-slaters-abs-make-us-reconsider-our-wayward-youth

Wednesday Haiku

2008-03-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

Cute haircut before

Is now at an awkward stage.

Time to get it cut?

an early haiku

2008-03-25T10:13:00.001-07:00

"Sick day" (at the beach),
How better to welcome spring
Than to soak it up?

A Haiku of Protest

2008-03-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

Five years into this,

Is there an end in sight yet?

Let's give peace a chance.

Wednesday Haiku!

2008-03-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

Overcommitted

Is the name of the game now,

Gearing up early.

Haiku What?

2008-03-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Wait, what day is it?

When did Wednesday go by me?

Must have been busy.

Wednesday Haiku

2008-03-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

Life is far too short

To waste a moment on her

And her bitchiness.

new quote to absorb

2008-03-04T13:18:00.000-08:00

"Tell me, what will you do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver

wednesday haiku

2008-02-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

Is it too cheesy

To say that the future starts

Tonight with a trip?

and on a lighter note...

2008-02-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

Yoga-rific is

How I would describe my week.

Feeling pretty great.

three day weekends always screw me up

2008-02-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

This is just to say

Your callousness angers me

Into moving on.

In my email today:

2008-02-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

"THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!"

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said
"NO!". And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing,
camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did
whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more,
had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself.
She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore ' lacy
lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled,
felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.
The End!

Actually made me laugh despite my morning stupor...

2008-02-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

Per Jon Carroll in today's SF Chronicle:

"And I'm not that crazy about Valentine's Day. I know it's a bogus invented holiday, but that doesn't bother me so much - every holiday is bogus and invented, one way or another. The arcane solar/lunar formula for determining Easter is just as artificial. Not everybody signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4. Some patriots said, "You know, I'm going to have my people kick this around, and I'll get back to you." Only they said it with all their s's looking like f's."

haiku wednesday!!

2008-02-13T14:37:00.000-08:00

Overly busy,

Still have time to dwell on it.

Will time heal all wounds?

ha! It took me a second...

2008-02-13T14:28:00.000-08:00

But then I laughed.

Vote

2008-02-04T12:42:00.000-08:00

GOODBYE TO ALL THAT (#2) by Robin Morgan

“Goodbye To All That” was my (in)famous 1970 essay breaking free from a politics of accommodation especially affecting women.

During my decades in civil-rights, anti-war, and contemporary women’s movements, I’ve resisted writing another specific “Goodbye . . .”. But not since the suffrage struggle have two communities--the joint conscience-keepers of this country--been so set in competition, as the contest between Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) and Barack Obama (BO) unfurls. So.

Goodbye to the double standard . . .

--Hillary is too ballsy but too womanly, a Snow Maiden who’s emotional, and so much a politician as to be unfit for politics.

--She’s “ambitious” but he shows “fire in the belly.” (Ever had labor pains? )

--When a sexist idiot screamed “Iron my shirt!” at HRC, it was considered amusing; if a racist idiot shouted “Shine my shoes!” at BO, it would’ve inspired hours of airtime and pages of newsprint analyzing our national dishonor.
--Young political Kennedys--Kathleen, Kerry, and Bobby Jr.--all endorsed Hillary. Sen. Ted, age 76, endorsed Obama. If the situation were reversed, pundits would snort “See? Ted and establishment types back her, but the forward-looking generation backs him.” (Personally, I’m unimpressed with Caroline’s longing for the Return of the Fathers. Unlike the rest of the world, Americans have short memories. Me, I still recall Marilyn Monroe’s suicide, and a dead girl named Mary Jo Kopechne in Chappaquiddick.)

Goodbye to the toxic viciousness . . .

Carl Bernstein's disgust at Hillary’s “thick ankles.” Nixon-trickster Roger Stone’s new Hillary-hating 527 group, “Citizens United Not Timid” (check the capital letters). John McCain answering “How do we beat the bitch?" with “Excellent question!” Would he have dared reply similarly to “How do we beat the black bastard?” For shame.

Goodbye to the HRC nutcracker with metal spikes between splayed thighs. If it was a tap-dancing blackface doll, we would be righteously outraged—and they would not be selling it in airports. Shame.

Goodbye to the most intimately violent T-shirts in election history, including one with the murderous slogan “If Only Hillary had married O.J. Instead!” Shame.
Goodbye to Comedy Central’s “Southpark” featuring a storyline in which terrorists secrete a bomb in HRC’s vagina. I refuse to wrench my brain down into the gutter far enough to find a race-based comparison. For shame.

Goodbye to the sick, malicious idea that this is funny. This is not “Clinton hating,” not “Hillary hating.” This is sociopathic woman-hating. If it were about Jews, we would recognize it instantly as anti-Semitic propaganda; if about race, as KKK poison. Hell, PETA would go ballistic if such vomitous spew were directed at animals. Where is our sense of outrage—as citizens, voters, Americans?

Goodbye to the news-coverage target-practice . . .

The women’s movement and Media Matters wrung an apology from MSNBC’s Chris Matthews for relentless misogynistic comments (www.womensmediacenter.com). But what about NBC’s Tim Russert’s continual sexist asides and his all-white-male panels pontificating on race and gender? Or CNN’s Tony Harris chuckling at “the chromosome thing” while interviewing a woman from The White House Project? And that’s not even mentioning Fox News.

Goodbye to pretending the black community is entirely male and all women are white . . .

Surprise! Women exist in all opinions, pigmentations, ethnicities, abilities, sexual preferences, and ages--not only African American and European American but Latina and Native American, Asian American and Pacific Islanders, Arab American and—hey, every group, because a group wouldn’t be alive if we hadn’t given birth to it. A few non-racist countries may exist--but sexism is everywhere. No matter how many ways a woman breaks free from other oppressions, she remains a female human being in a world still so patriarchal that it’s the “norm.”

So why should all women not be as justly proud of our womanhood and the centuries, even millennia, of struggle that got us this far, as black Americans, women and men, are justly proud of their struggles?

Goodbye to a campaign where he has to pass as white (which whites—especially wealthy ones--adore), while she has to pass as male (which both men and women demanded of her, and then found unforgivable). If she were black or he were female we wouldn’t be having such problems, and I for one would be in heaven. But at present such a candidate wouldn’t stand a chance—even if she shared Condi Rice’s Bush-defending politics.
I was celebrating the pivotal power at last focused on African American women deciding on which of two candidates to bestow their vote--until a number of Hillary-supporting black feminists told me they’re being called “race traitors.”

So goodbye to conversations about this nation’s deepest scar—slavery—which fail to acknowledge that labor- and sexual-slavery exist today in the US and elsewhere on this planet, and the majority of those enslaved are women.

Women have endured sex/race/ethnic/religious hatred, rape and battery, invasion of spirit and flesh, forced pregnancy; being the majority of the poor, the illiterate, the disabled, of refugees, caregivers, the HIV/AIDS afflicted, the powerless. We have survived invisibility, ridicule, religious fundamentalisms, polygamy, teargas, forced feedings, jails, asylums, sati, purdah, female genital mutilation, witch burnings, stonings, and attempted gynocides. We have tried reason, persuasion, reassurances, and being extra-qualified, only to learn it never was about qualifications after all. We know that at this historical moment women experience the world differently from men--though not all the same as one another--and can govern differently, from Elizabeth Tudor to Michele Bachelet and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.

We remember when Shirley Chisholm and Patricia Schroeder ran for this high office and barely got past the gate—they showed too much passion, raised too little cash, were joke fodder. Goodbye to all that. (And goodbye to some feminists so famished for a female president they were even willing to abandon women’s rights in backing Elizabeth Dole.)

Goodbye, goodbye to . . .

--blaming anything Bill Clinton does on Hillary (even including his womanizing like the Kennedy guys--though unlike them, he got reported on). Let’s get real. If he hadn’t campaigned strongly for her everyone would cluck over what that meant. Enough of Bill and Teddy Kennedy locking their alpha male horns while Hillary pays for it.

--an era when parts of the populace feel so disaffected by politics that a comparative lack of knowledge, experience, and skill is actually seen as attractive, when celebrity-culture mania now infects our elections so that it’s “cooler” to glow with marquee charisma than to understand the vast global complexities of power on a nuclear, wounded planet.

--the notion that it’s fun to elect a handsome, cocky president who feels he can learn on the job, goodbye to George W. Bush and the destruction brought by his inexperience, ignorance, and arrogance.

Goodbye to the accusation that HRC acts “entitled” when she’s worked intensely at everything she’s done—including being a nose-to-the-grindstone, first-rate senator from my state.

Goodbye to her being exploited as a Rorschach test by women who reduce her to a blank screen on which they project their own fears, failures, fantasies.

Goodbye to the phrase “polarizing figure” to describe someone who embodies the transitions women have made in the last century and are poised to make in this one. It was the women’s movement that quipped, “We are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” She heard us, and she has.

Goodbye to some women letting history pass by while wringing their hands, because Hillary isn’t as “likeable” as they’ve been warned they must be, or because she didn’t leave him, couldn’t “control” him, kept her family together and raised a smart, sane daughter. (Think of the blame if Chelsea had ever acted in the alcoholic, neurotic manner of the Bush twins!) Goodbye to some women pouting because she didn’t bake cookies or she did, sniping because she learned the rules and then bent or broke them. Grow the hell up. She is not running for Ms.-perfect-pure-queen-icon of the feminist movement. She is running to be President of the United States.

Goodbye to the shocking American ignorance of our own and other countries’ history. Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir rose through party ranks and war, positioning themselves as proto-male leaders. Almost all other female heads of government so far have been related to men of power—granddaughters, daughters, sisters, wives, widows: Gandhi, Bandaranike, Bhutto, Aquino, Chamorro, Wazed, Macapagal-Arroyo, Johnson Sirleaf, Bachelet, Kirchner, and more. Even in our “land of opportunity,” it’s mostly the first pathway “in” permitted to women: Reps. Doris Matsui and Mary Bono and Sala Burton; Sen. Jean Carnahan . . . far too many to list here.

Goodbye to a misrepresented generational divide . . .

Goodbye to the so-called spontaneous “Obama Girl” flaunting her bikini-clad ass online—then confessing Oh yeah it wasn’t her idea after all, some guys got her to do it and dictated the clothes, which she said “made me feel like a dork.”

Goodbye to some young women eager to win male approval by showing they’re not feminists (at least not the kind who actually threaten the status quo), who can’t identify with a woman candidate because she is unafraid of eeueweeeu yucky power, who fear their boyfriends might look at them funny if they say something good about her. Goodbye to women of any age again feeling unworthy, sulking “what if she’s not electable?” or “maybe it’s post-feminism and whoooosh we’re already free.” Let a statement by the magnificent Harriet Tubman stand as reply. When asked how she managed to save hundreds of enslaved African Americans via the Underground Railroad during the Civil War, she replied bitterly, “I could have saved thousands—if only I’d been able to convince them they were slaves.”

I’d rather say a joyful Hello to all the glorious young women who do identify with Hillary, and all the brave, smart men—of all ethnicities and any age--who get that it’s in their self-interest, too. She’s better qualified. (D’uh.) She’s a high-profile candidate with an enormous grasp of foreign- and domestic-policy nuance, dedication to detail, ability to absorb staggering insult and personal pain while retaining dignity, resolve, even humor, and keep on keeping on. (Also, yes, dammit, let’s hear it for her connections and funding and party-building background, too. Obama was awfully glad about those when she raised dough and campaigned for him to get to the Senate in the first place.)

I’d rather look forward to what a good president he might make in eight years, when his vision and spirit are seasoned by practical know-how--and he’ll be all of 54. Meanwhile, goodbye to turning him into a shining knight when actually he’s an astute, smooth pol with speechwriters who’ve worked with the Kennedys’ own speechwriter-courtier Ted Sorenson. If it’s only about ringing rhetoric, let speechwriters run. But isn’t it about getting the policies we want enacted?

And goodbye to the ageism . . .

How dare anyone unilaterally decide when to turn the page on history, papering over real inequities and suffering constituencies in the promise of a feel-good campaign? How dare anyone claim to unify while dividing, or think that to rouse US youth from torpor it’s useful to triage the single largest demographic in this country’s history: the boomer generation--the majority of which is female?

Older woman are the one group that doesn’t grow more conservative with age—and we are the generation of radicals who said “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Goodbye to going gently into any goodnight any man prescribes for us. We are the women who changed the reality of the United States. And though we never went away, brace yourselves: we’re back!

We are the women who brought this country equal credit, better pay, affirmative action, the concept of a family-focused workplace; the women who established rape-crisis centers and battery shelters, marital-rape and date-rape laws; the women who defended lesbian custody rights, who fought for prison reform, founded the peace and environmental movements; who insisted that medical research include female anatomy, who inspired men to become more nurturing parents, who created women’s studies and Title IX so we all could cheer the WNBA stars and Mia Hamm. We are the women who reclaimed sexuality from violent pornography, who put child care on the national agenda, who transformed demographics, artistic expression, language itself. We are the women who forged a worldwide movement. We are the proud successors of women who, though it took more than 50 years, won us the vote.

We are the women who now comprise the majority of US voters.

Hillary said she found her own voice in New Hampshire. There’s not a woman alive who, if she’s honest, doesn’t recognize what she means. Then HRC got drowned out by campaign experts, Bill, and media’s obsession with All Things Bill.

So listen to her voice:

“For too long, the history of women has been a history of silence. Even today, there are those who are trying to silence our words.

“It is a violation of human rights when babies are denied food, or drowned, or suffocated, or their spines broken, simply because they are born girls. It is a violation of human rights when woman and girls are sold into the slavery of prostitution. It is a violation of human rights when women are doused with gasoline, set on fire and burned to death because their marriage dowries are deemed too small. It is a violation of human rights when individual women are raped in their own communities and when thousands of women are subjected to rape as a tactic or prize of war. It is a violation of human rights when a leading cause of death worldwide along women ages 14 to 44 is the violence they are subjected to in their own homes. It is a violation of human rights when women are denied the right to plan their own families, and that includes being forced to have abortions or being sterilized against their will.

“Women’s rights are human rights. Among those rights are the right to speak freely--and the right to be heard.”

That was Hillary Rodham Clinton defying the US State Department and the Chinese Government at the 1995 UN World Conference on Women in Beijing.

And this voice, age 22, in “Commencement Remarks of Hillary D. Rodham, President of Wellesley College Government Association, Class of 1969”: “We are, all of us, exploring a world none of us understands. . . . searching for a more immediate, ecstatic, and penetrating mode of living. . . . [for the] integrity, the courage to be whole, living in relation to one another in the full poetry of existence. The struggle for an integrated life existing in an atmosphere of communal trust and respect is one with desperately important political and social consequences. . . . Fear is always with us, but we just don't have time for it.”

She ended with the commitment “to practice, with all the skill of our being: the art of making possible.”

And for decades, she’s been learning how.

So goodbye to Hillary’s second-guessing herself. The real question is deeper than her re-finding her voice. Can we women find ours? Can we do this for ourselves? “Our President, Ourselves!”

Time is short and the contest tightening. We need to rise in furious energy--as we did when courageous Anita Hill was so vilely treated in the US Senate, as we did when desperate Rosie Jiminez was butchered by an illegal abortion, as we did and do for women globally who are condemned for trying to break through. We need to win, this time. Goodbye to supporting HRC tepidly, with ambivalent caveats and apologetic smiles. Time to volunteer, make phone calls, send emails, donate money, argue, rally, march, shout, vote.

Me? I support Hillary Rodham because she’s the best qualified of all candidates running in both parties. I support her because her progressive politics are as strong as her proven ability to withstand what will be a massive right-wing assault in the general election. I support her because she knows how to get us out of Iraq. I support her because she’s refreshingly thoughtful, and I’m bloodied from eight years of a jolly “uniter” with ejaculatory politics. I needn’t agree with her on every point. I agree with the 97 percent of her positions that are identical with Obama’s—and the few where hers are both more practical and to the left of his (like health care). I support her because she’s already smashed the first-lady stereotype and made history as a fine senator, and because I believe she will continue to make history not only as the first US woman president, but as a great US president.

As for the “woman thing”?

Me, I’m voting for Hillary not because she’s a woman--but because I am.

RM
February 2, 2008
New York City

[Also posted on www.womensmediacenter.com]

naked lips

2008-01-29T15:27:00.000-08:00

Running out of my tube of Kiehl's baby lip balm. Apparently I apply it a gazillion times a day while at work. Didn't even notice. Good think there's a new Kiehl's in my favorite mall! It's soooooo good.

tuesday haiku?

2008-01-29T09:43:00.000-08:00

Is it Wednesday yet?

Don't want to wish life away,

But need a weekend.

sickness

2008-01-23T16:09:00.000-08:00

Caught the flu, sick for

days. Where did the week go? Missed

out on everything.

hacer el bien sin ver a quien

2008-01-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

Here's a sweet story in the news today: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2008/01/14/MNFKUBCRJ.DTL

Love it - brilliant and hilarious!

2008-01-10T16:09:00.001-08:00

http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/snuuznluuz-alarm-clock

wednesday haiku

2008-01-09T14:20:00.001-08:00

Post meeting brain drain,

Wasn't even on the spot,

Tired anyway.

Weird Wide Web

2008-01-07T16:47:00.001-08:00

http://catsinsinks.com/

Umm....

2008-01-04T11:00:00.001-08:00

If only they had this back when I went to prom:

http://www.mcphee.com/resources/april/items/bacontux.html

Webbing it

2008-01-04T10:04:00.001-08:00

The internets are moving too slowly for me today.

Also, I think I'm developing carpal tunnel. Youch.

Haiku Wednesday

2007-12-19T12:29:00.000-08:00

My whole life has changed

With one email from afar,

Good news: a future!

Eff yeah!

2007-12-18T16:43:00.000-08:00

My horoscope: Jupiter in Capricorn throughout 2008 brings prosperity and protection. Think of it as having a guardian angel on call 24/7 for the year.

Love it!

2007-12-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.jennybharris.com/activities/home/sweethome.htm

Go ahead, get your gingerbread on!

haiku wednesday!

2007-12-12T12:42:00.000-08:00

Look....I actually remembered! Alright, here goes....

Supposed to get in

To the backup school, but what

If that doesn't work?

Can you tell what's on my mind??

Getting ready for New Years

2007-12-12T12:41:00.000-08:00

I'm having a New Year's conundrum this year - cough up $125 to go to a party thrown by friends (not too close of friends, though) or be lazy and have a small get together at home. If I end up doing the latter, I'm going to have to check out these affordable champagne suggestions from users on Epicurious.com.

-Wolfberger Cremant d'Alsace (around $15.95)

-Codorniu Pinot Noir Brut Cava ($11.99)

-Pearly Bay Celebration from South Africa (around $8 to $10)

Did I mention I love the bubbly? Mmm....

OMG...cuteness overload

2007-12-06T12:29:00.000-08:00

I love hedgehogs. If you do, too, click here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=499453&in_page_id=1770.

Haiku Wednesday

2007-12-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

Interview gone bad

Is making me stressed out now.

Who will accept me?

Solidarity

2007-12-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

Haiku Wednesday

2007-11-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

So sleepy today,

Going out on a Tuesday

Is meant for the young.

Do you know what time it is?

2007-11-20T13:50:00.000-08:00

ack...a wednesday haiku

2007-11-14T13:40:00.000-08:00

Still waiting for her

To finish what I gave her

A full month ago.

Wednesday Haiku afterthought

2007-11-01T10:01:00.001-07:00

I thought of it and

then it was gone, Wednesday too;

This is late again.

Thinking...

2007-10-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

Buddhists say you need three things in life: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.